Opposites Attract, But Personality Counts!


“Birds of a feather flock together” is an old maxim; it implies that people prefer to be with others who are similar to themselves.

On the other hand, another old saying asserts that “opposites attract”.

Both maxims are generalisations, and both probably have some truth in them.

Looking at the second maxim in a more cynical way, opposites attract but can end up driving each other insane.

She loves champagne and opera, while he loves a few beers and a barbeque at home. Chemistry is one thing between opposites, but what about long-term potential in a relationship?

Attraction to someone who is completely different is exciting, and our lives are often enriched by these relationships. They help us learn about ourselves. However, dating an opposite can be a recipe for disaster in the long term.

Looking on current dating sites, love seekers place a lot of emphasis on finding a partner wth complimentary interests. After the thrill of chasing someone different in their younger days, older daters realise they need to be with someone who is similar in a long-term relationship.

Some personality differences can be complimentary. One person may be more emotional and the other very steady, and this can balance the relationship. Being different can allow you to compensate in areas you know you are not great in. Experts agree that long term compatability is based on shared values and beliefs.

Sometimes you’d be surprised how much you can have in common with someone completely different from you.

In a study, researchers found that people tend to marry those who are similar in attitudes, religion and values. But it’s similarity in personality that appears to be more important in creating a happy marriage.

Beauty attracts the eye, but personality captures the heart.


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